Household Salvation

Praying Your Family and Friends Into the Kingdom

By Jim Croft

Most of us have relatives and friends whom we cherish and long to see come into the family of God. The majority of us have been disheartened by breaches in fellowship that were incited by our attempts to win our favorite people to the Lord. The rejections run from polite responses to angry outbursts. “I’m happy for you, but I’m not interested” can quickly escalate to, “Get off my back, I have no desire to become a religious flake like you”. If we persist in tactless efforts, those who were formerly polite can mutate into hostile modes.

Whatever the case, I have good news for you. A principle of salvation is that the potential of its offer extends to all who fall within your circle of friends and relatives. The purpose of this article is to equip you with strategies that can help prepare the ground for your dear ones to comply with the wooing of the Spirit. It will also speak to the reasons for people’s rejections and pertinent things that must be in place for genuine conversions. A Bible close at hand will be helpful to lookup the cited references.

Promises

• Act16:30-31 - and after he brought them out, he said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" [31] They said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." The Greek words for biblical terms such as household, house and family go beyond the meanings inferred in English. Such infer the inclusions of all of the people with whom one might have close interpersonal relationships. Spouses, parents and grandparents, children, siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins, friends and business associates all fall within the borders of the Greek word oikos and its derivatives. Encouraging examples of entire families and friendship circles coming to the Lord can be found in the stories of the conversions of Cornelius the Roman Centurion and the Philippian jailer (Acts 10 & 16).
• 1Co 7:12-16 – Unbelieving spouses and children are sanctified by the faith of Christian spouses and parents. The word(s) sanctified/sanctification carry the implications that you have God’s promise that He has “set them apart” for His special attention. Along with the saving of their souls, such includes His blessings on their lives.

Impotent Will

Your loved ones will not come to Jesus simply because you want them to be saved. No matter how persuasive and articulate your testimonies/presentations of Christ might sound, it takes more than the will of man for a person to experience authentic conversion (Joh. 1:13). Habitual covert and overtly coercive tactics, heated religious arguments and threats about eternal damnation are rarely helpful. In most instances those types of shenanigans intensify resistance to the Gospel message. I will later address these issues more fully.

Dynamics of Salvation

Bornagain salvation requires two interrelated sovereign gifts from God; the revelation that Jesus is God and Lord and the ability to repent of one’s sins (Matt. 16:15-17,Act 11:18). These come upon people as the winds of the Holy Spirit blow upon them and they comply with the wishes of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

• None can come to Jesus unless drawn by God through the auspices delegated to the discretion of the Holy Spirit (Joh 6:37, 44; 3:6-8).
• Contrary to popular opinion, God does not withhold blessings to make people repent. He extends mercy to bring people to repentance (Rom 2:4). Such is accomplished by both His subtle and dramatically miraculous interventions in people’s lives. It is also made evident as His abused servants demonstrate extraordinary gentleness and kindness toward those who are abusive and unappreciative.
• The ability to repent is a blessing from God (Acts 3:26). It is actually a grace gift that is granted/bestowed by the Lord through the power of the Holy Spirit. This truth is denoted by words such as grant/granted that are used in relation to repentance in Acts 5:31, 8:22, and 11:18.
• Salvation is accomplished when the wind of the Holy Spirit moves upon a person and opens his/her heart to repent and believe the Gospel (Act 16:14). The person is most apt to be receptive if there have been believers in their environment who previously gently planted and watered seeds of the Kingdom.
• In regard to converted people favorably influencing unconverted family members for household salvation, the key influencing components are often supernatural phenomena. With the Philippian jailer it took a spiritual dream and an earthquake of heavenly origin (Act 16). Cornelius’ friends and family had heard about his visit from an angel who told him to seek out Peter to learn about the Faith (Act 10). When Philip brought his cousin Nathanael to Jesus, it was a vision and the promise that he would receive the same that convinced him that Jesus was the Messiah (Joh 1:45-51). The supernatural dimension is often sorely lacking in the attempts of believers who are trying to win those of their households. The Apostle Paul did not depend upon persuasive arguments to convince people that Jesus is Lord and neither should we. Unfailingly his testimonies were accompanied by signs and wonders that stamped his message with authenticity (1Co 2:3-5, Rom 15:18-19).

Jesus’ Example

Jesus was perfect in all of His ways, yet some members of His immediate family and childhood acquaintances were slow to believe His message. For a time, His family believed Him to be an overworked religious zealot who needed rest. He refused their efforts. Years later His brother James became the lead Apostle for the Jerusalem church. Some people who had a history with His family voiced less than becoming suspicions about the circumstances of His conception. They would not believe that He was or did anything special. Jesus was not offended by such rejections and He did not argue to convince them otherwise. He lived in the awareness that those of their own households and hometowns seldom hold prophets in high esteem until after their exploits become legendary (Mar 6:4).

Accept the reality that your situation is the same with those of your household. You can rest assured that independent of your direct involvement the Lord will use other people and means to bring them to Himself. It is also probable that unbeknownst to you there is an enigma active in your relatives lives. They secretly brag to others about your spirituality even though they are apt to berate you about it.

Flies in the Ointment

The painful reality is that many Christians are less than sensitive while witnessing to those of their families and those in their friendship circles. Misdirected zeal commonly causes them to become angered and argumentative when folks don’t repent and believe. In such instances some believers fire condemning shots accusing those targeted for salvation of rebellion against God and His Holy Word. Condemning the unconverted for not holding the same values as the converted is never a productive endeavor. Such will repel rather than attract your favorite people to the Lord.

There are specific reasons why dear comrades reject our new personas as ambassadors of the Kingdom of God. They might not really have a problem with the concept of the Lordship of Jesus. The problem might be their histories with us. It could be that they remember all-too-well such things as our former abusive ways; infidelities; crimes and misdemeanors; addiction episodes; enthusiastic new beginnings and short-lived follow-throughs; impatience with the disagreeable and so forth. Such histories might caution them about jumping onto your most recent bandwagon.

This is particularly true if post conversion you intermittently experience lapses in the fruit of the Spirit. The ability to incite controversy and the inability to handle the interpersonal tensions that such spawn are indicative of such lapses. In reality you are a new creation in Christ. Yet, for astute observers you are seemingly unchanged. In biblical terms, for them the new wine that you are offering may taste suspiciously like the old wine that they previously experienced as typical of your vineyard.

Ain’t Fair

Unquestionably, their reasonings are frequently myopic, inaccurate and unfair. The carnal mind has trouble deciphering spiritual realities. Unredeemed friends and family make assessments solely on the basis of natural perceptions. They don’t have the capacity to perceive things spiritually from your viewpoint nor to relate to the dynamics of what has taken place in your life.

To your frustration and to their own hurt they harbor unfair, but understandable inner rebuttals. IE. “If Jesus, the Prince of Peace has failed to bring affable gentleness to your personality, why should I want to import that which you are attempting to export to me?” The same goes for Bible reading, faithful attendance at church services and daily prayer. “If those things have not produced visible changes in your circumstances, I would be foolish to embrace your faith.”

Without Words

The full context of 1 Peter 3:1-7 is pivotal for spouses and believers understandings of how to prepare the soil for those of their households to be reaped for the Kingdom. They can be won more so by exemplary works than by incessant words. A gentle quiet demeanor that exemplifies a meek spirit of servant-hood coupled with observable answers to prayer is the key. If they see good transformations in your behavior and God’s faithfulness to answers your prayers, it will eventually get their attention. You can attend church and have your devotional time without harping on them to do the same. Miracles occurring in your life and theirs due to God’s faithfulness to you are persuasive and difficult to endlessly ignore.

Wiggelsworth Testimony

Smith Wiggelsworth, the famed British healing evangelist of the Twentieth Century, was won through the silent testimony of his wife. He knew that she was a Christian and had a contemptuous disregard for all that it represented. He forbade her to attend services and locked her out of the house when she did so. It was not unusual for him to find her sleeping on the front porch on mornings afterwards with nothing but newspapers to protect her from the elements. When awakened she would affectionately give him a kiss and fix a grand breakfast for him. She never uttered a word of disappointment nor rebuke.

Finally he sheepishly requested to accompany her to a Pentecostal meeting. He was gloriously saved that night and subsequently founded one of the most stonishing healing ministries of Church History. She planted seeds into his heart and watered them with kindness rather than verbiage. God gave the increase through a stranger whom he otherwise would have totally rejected.

My Testimony

My wife Prudence is cut from the same spiritual cloth as Mrs. Wiggelsworth. She used a similar tactic to assist in my decision to pursue the Lord’s calling on my life. I had been raised in the church and was compelled to go to religious schools. Legalisms had conditioned me to resist anything akin to Christianity. I would not darken a church door and discouraged my wife from taking the children to services. I was a yuppie party animal to the tenth power. Prudence was the perfect hostess at our frequent wild parties and never condemned me for throwing such. Unbeknownst to me, vibrant faith was blooming within her and she was secretly taking the children to church when I was away on business. Had I been aware, vehement protest would have ensued.

On July 18, 1967 I was on a business trip to Tennessee. That night I began to wonder just how Israel was able to defeat its Muslim neighbors in the Six-Day War. For some unknown reason it occurred to me that they might have had angelic assistance. Suddenly, I became drawn to the Gideon-placed Bible in my hotel room. I picked it up and began to search for answers concerning the Jews’ success in battle. After reading for a while I began to have this strange sensation that the Bible knew me and was reading me. I also felt that there was an invisible Divine Person in the room watching me. I went to light a cigarette, and as I brushed my cheek I felt a tear. This shocked me, for I felt no emotion and had no conscious awareness that I needed God in my life. Nonetheless, in response to the curious tear, I found myself desiring to kneel and pray for the first time in years. When my knees hit the floor, the fountains of the deep broke forth. I began to wail from the depths of my spirit. Then, I heard myself crying out to God telling Him that I needed Him and that if He wanted me, I was His man.

When I arrived home, I promptly told my wife about my experience. I uthoritatively announced that we would be taking the children to church on Sunday. She began to laugh and cry simultaneously. She then explained that she, my parents, and a local pastor had been agreeing in prayer concerning my spiritual condition. That week my parents had read Isaiah 45:13 in their morning devotions. It says; “I have raised him up in righteousness, And I will direct all his ways; He shall build My city And let My exiles go free, Not for price nor reward," Says the LORD of hosts. By faith, they had inserted my name and claimed that I would seek the Lord’s destiny for my life. It is doubtful that Prudence and my parents would have been instrumental in my salvation had they harassed me about my lifestyle and boasted about praying for me.

Generalizations

Best

• Children are very effective as people instinctively discern that they are free of vested interests.
• Complete strangers who are bold enough to share testimonies and the plan of salvation.
• Older siblings that have earned the respect of their younger siblings over the years.
• Fathers, mothers and spouses who exemplify the fruit of the spirit in the midst of adversity and regularly receive obvious answers to routine matters of prayer. Such would include healing, miracles, scholastic achievements and vocational advancements.
• Athletes, entertainers and business associates that have leverage with those who admire them.

Least Likely

• Adult children and younger siblings. Normally older people resist instruction from those whom they formerly instructed.
• Control freaks that cannot bear to give spouses and children breathing room to make their own decisions about personal matters. The rebuttals of those whom they attempt to coerce into conversion are apt to be adamant. No one welcomes the prospects of another governing their decisions about life’s most important issue.
• Anyone who haunts those in their friendships circles with religiosity and legalistic demands. Those who voice critical opposition to everybody and everything in society that does not exemplify Christian values fall into the same category.
• People who have little fruit that indicates the presence of God’s favor on their lives and endlessly spout their religious views at inappropriate times and places.

Praying Them In

It is legitimate to lead an active spiritual life and for your unconverted friends and relatives to be aware of your faith. Tactful testimonies of God’s grace are helpful; if offered intermittingly. Excessive verbiage is apt to be tedious to those who have not been predisposed by the Spirit to be receptive. Once all know the path to salvation the best strategy is to let your light shine before them through good works. If they have rejected your overtures, you can pray for timely events to happen in their lives that will bring them to the Cross.

• Pray that harvesters whom they will accept will cross their paths at appropriate junctures.
• Secretly pray for anything and everything that would better their lives. People are essentially spiritual beings who innately receive vibes from the spirits of those around them. They can feel best wishes and approval. Such feels much better than vibes of disapproval.
• Subtle and overt hints that you are praying for their success and trials and tribulations are normally welcome. Miraculous answers to those prayers can be instrumental to their salvations.
• Intercede that positive deliverances will occur in their lives that are of undeniable supernatural origin.
• Pray that God’s grace gifts and the fruits of the Spirit will be evident to all who know you.
• Ask the Lord to remind them of your witness and His faithfulness to you without your reminders of the same.
• Each day sprinkle the seeds that you have planted within them with prayers of gratitude for each individual’s place in your life. Thoroughly douse those seeds with kind gestures.
• Activate the canvas of your imagination. Envision depictions of those in your household proclaiming the glory of God. Hold those images in the chambers of your inner art gallery until that which you see in the spiritual realm is duplicated in the natural realm.
• If you sense the necessity, apologize to those whom you might have offended through witnessing faux pas. Understand that God is bigger than your previous lapses in attitude and coercive tactics. When your loved ones recognize that the new you is a refreshing reality they will forgive and forget your former blunders.

Seventeen years later he called and gave me the miraculous story of his conversion. It punctuates God’s commitment to fulfill His promise of household salvation. “Yesterday, I underwent surgery for a heart transplant. The donor was a seventeen-year-old kid. Jim, I came out with two new hearts! While I was anesthetized on the operating table, Jesus appeared to me. He opened His arms toward me and told me to come to Him because I belonged to Him. I screamed, ‘Jesus you are my Savior and Lord’, and ran into His arms. All those years ago, I told you that if I ever became interested in God that you would be the first to know, forgive me for lying. I told everyone in the hospital about my experience before calling you.” As Ray spoke I wept for joy. The Lord whispered to my spirit that the youngster whose heart Ray had received was born about the same time that Ray had demanded that I cease harassing him about getting saved.

The wind of the Spirit blows where He wants, upon whom He wants, when He wants (Joh 3:8). With or without our onsite participation, the Lord has spectacular ways and means to bring those in our friendship circles to Himself.